Earthquake Report, Day 17 (March 10)
Had another aftershock that ‘registered’ this evening—i.e. one of 12 so far today but this one was 4.5 and a real little shaker: Nice. (Not.)
I think I said the other day that around now, ie day 17 post quake and into week 3 (so short a time, but it feels like forever) is where the really hard part starts. The initial adrenalin rush is over and the immediate disaster relief tasks have largely been done—in my case nothing more significant than picking up broken stuff and shovelling all that sludge, but the CD authorities are also progressively reducing the cordon around the central city. Yet the roads remain like a cross between slalom courses and old river beds, there’s still no sewer (or stormwater, fun when the winter rains come) and there’s damage to the house that could be dangerous—but the queue to get stuff done is city sized.
Partly, I know that I will normalise to the situation because survival demands it, but another part of me simply felt unreasonably angry today. I just wanted it all to stop and everything to go back to being “nice” and “normal” again. My rational mind—of course!—sneered and said, “Well, you know that’s not going to happen, not for a long, long time!” But my emotional self still felt angry and unreasonable anyway.
I realise that this is probably a perfectly normal reaction and the important thing may be to acknowledge that there is going to be (ok, is already!) an emotional reaction (apparently the extreme tiredness is another element of that) and try to be “aware”, rather than being ruled by the emotional rollercoaster. Especially since citywide ‘earthquake rage’ is not what Christchurch needs right now: we still need every citizen to do their best to keep it together! A bit like those World War 2 posters—which does make me shake my head and wonder how the people who survived that, the civilians as well as the soldiers, managed the transition back from the extreme and prolonged stress of war to a peacetime society.
Another important step is to ‘make it normal’ as much as possible, which is why I am trying to get back into a routine with my writing and talking about fun stuff here on the blog, as I did yesterday. So I stuck with the writing again here today and am working on my Book Month workshops as well—but basically every time I stop and look around there’s no way of avoiding the hard reality, which is that nothing’s in the least bit normal and isn’t going to be any time soon. And I just have to deal with that.
There are always bright notes though and today’s was receiving this wonderful, colourful bunch of flowers from my fellow Tuesday Poem blog poet, Zireaux. I love the colours and it’s nice to have a spot of bright in amongst all that ‘not normal.’ So thank you, Zireaux. 🙂
My heart goes out to you all down there, Helen. I hope these big shakes stop soon so you can at least get some time unbroken by adrenalin!
Aimee
Me too, re the quakes stopping!
I think the problem is that right now the adrenalin is starting to run short for many people.
This morning I also found out that one of the first things the EQC did in response to the latest big quake, was to REDUCE the amount of discretionary funds available to people trying to get emergency repairs to their houses done in Christchurch, from $10000 to $2000.
Despite the fact that this event is much more destructive than the last, and the need is much greater.
I am sure that whatever person made that decision felt they had good reasons. But my first reaction on hearing this was that the needs of the insurers had been put ahead of the needs of the people of Christchurch.
That does seem like an odd decision—especially given the time it took EQC to respond last time, which will only be longer this time, given the much greater level of damage. It would seem more logical to encourage people to get as much done as possible themselves, at least in terms of getting houses made secure where there are real safety concerns.
I want a magic wand! Since I don’t have that, I can give you the next best thing (meagre though it is).
When I got to the stage you’re at (where the fatigue hits) after my interesting events, clever friends told me to take big Vitamin B, C, zinc and magnesium supplements, to have a valerian tablet before bed (not valium, which only delays your body’s healing – a rello used valium and I used valerian and the differences were palpable – save valium for when nothing else works, perhaps), to cut out caffeine (except chocolate, which actually helps and so is fine), to eat much fresh fruit and vegies, to have long herbal baths where possible (lavendar and marjoram are good) and maybe to use vetiver (the properties of its essential oil are supposed to cut down on the extremeness of that fatigue – it works for me, but not for everyone). I can also give you my mother’s chicken soup recipe, if you want, which is an amazing restorative in general, but not specific for post traumatic stress.
Thank you for the ‘recipe’, Gillian, which however meagre it may seem, size-wise compared to a 6.3 quake, is a giant in spirit–and received as such!: -) I am not at all a valium gal, never have been and I hope, never will, but will give the rest a go (excepting the baths which of course are ‘out’ because we are being asked to conserve water—lots of ‘work arounds’ in the supply I gather.) As for the chicken soup recipe, what can I say, as a fellow foodie, except “yes, please–send it through!”, either on or offline.
(I am so glad that chocolate is not out! 😉 )
I think it’s absolutely normal to feel angry. It seems to be happening to a lot of people –both reasonable and unreasonable anger. For me, it’s been unreasonable. I also find myself irritated that this is still going on. I shouted at that 4.5 aftershock:) Yep. I’m sure that helped 🙂
In our house, there have been a great many disputes over things we all know are ridiculous, even as we’re sniping at each other.
I agree that it’s reaching the end of your adrenaline rush. I’m personally finding that now our own “helping” efforts are decreasing as things improve, it leaves you with no choice but to actually feel what’s happened. It’s easier to not feel things while there is something else to do. When you have a mission, you don’t have time to feel afraid.
Normal things are just so hard to focus on right now. It’s an extra effort that it’s hard to find the reserves for. I also can’t believe it’s only been just over two weeks. That seems surreal. It feels like forever.
Yelling at the ‘quakes—I like your style, Wen, taking on Papa-tu-a-nuku! 🙂
Keeping busy is always a great antidote to ‘feeling’, but sooner or later, I suspect, we will have to pay that arrears.
Funnily enough, everything we’ve been talking about gets a mention in the Health Board newsheet that went around, except the anger. And yet anger is probably the obvious corollary to ‘fight’ (of fight-flight-freeze) and we are all in some sense ‘fighting’ here—to stay on top of things, to make them as right as we can, to keep going and do our small bit to get Christchurch back on its feet, so it makes sense that anger is going to be right there in the mix. Shouting at the quakes sounds like great venting though.
Have you though about leaving Christchurch for a few days rest, and coming back refreshed ?
You are correct. It won’t be over for a very long time, so you may as well start pacing yourself now. Just remember, you need to last the distance.
Gillian’s recipes are very good. I’ve tried a few myself.
Thank you, June—and you’re right, about the pacing, the needing to last the distance and also the need for r’n’r. Although I also think that when you’ve re-experienced ‘normal’ coming back to the grind of ‘not-normal’ can be tough. But I have the Dan Davin workshops in the week of 21 March, for Bookmonth, so that will give me a taste of the “awa’ “
Hi Helen
So pleased to hear you’ve come through without being hurt yourself, houses can be fixed.
We are really looking to seeing you in Auckland for ConText at Queen’s Birthday weekend.
Marie
PS The valerian isn’t a bad suggestion, it’s herbal and not habit forming 🙂
Thank you, Marie—I, too, am looking forward to ConText & Queen’s Birthday. 🙂
There are benefits to anger: Do not go gentle into that good night, rage, rage etc. Maybe we should write an earthquake version:
Do not go gentle into that central city cordon,
EQC claims should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the lying of the sludge.
Sending light and strength to you and Andrew as always – hang in there.
Meanwhile, there is what is happening in Japan… unbelievable.
Thanks, Mary–and you’re right about Japan. I think we all need some respite from disaster.
I take valerian root! My doctor told me about it when I complained of sleep problems from night sweats (freaking hormones). Your body adjusts to it after a few nights of taking so I have to skip a few nights and then it works again. They are the nastiest smelling pills I have ever taken though! My husband can tell when I open the bottle . The flowers are beautiful 🙂
I find meditation really helps me with sleeping–although I’ve been too busy with earthquake stuff and then too tired to make the time for the meditation, but I need to get back into it. In the interim I find digging for 6-7 hours a day guarantees sleep, including through the aftershocks.:) It’s hardly a long term solution though, not if I want to get those books written!
I’ll email you the recipe.
Please take care. Be angry, be sad – be whatever you need to be.
I’ll look forward to the soup recipe. And try to stay cool with everything else. My thanks to you and everyone here for all the positives.